Monday, November 7, 2011

Getting my feet wet........

This blog is my way of expressing those needs and desires that some have and many don't act upon. Well after doing the vanilla thing for a long time. My desires were always there but they were never acted upon. The fantasies that made my heart pound and my body respond in exciting ways.

Does one act on these secret desires or keep them bottled up forever..... I decided I am a woman of action thinking is not enough so i got brave and after 6 years of marriage I acted. I got my now ex husband drunk and then asked him to spank me. Lets just say epic fail lol. This ended his even drinking with me lol. He then suggested that I should seek what I desire online. So i took him up on his offer and I divorced him it was a sham of a marriage anyway and neither of us were ever happy. So the split was the best for both of us.

Once I found myself on my own newly single and ready to stop being something i wasn't. I again got brave and ventured into the delightful world of online bdsm chat rooms. There are many and they all are pretty much the same kneel now bitch lol. I wasn't ready for that and as I said I am a woman of action so I found a bdsm dating site. The awkwardness of it was alarming at first. The whole lets get the list of sexual positions and activities out of the way before your first date seemed to personal for me. The whole insert tab A into slot B was all to overwhelming. I was looking for the emotional connection I craved not to give some guy a blow job on the first date.

Then it happened quite by accident. I met someone who listened we actually started talking because there I was in a bdsm chat room and someone wanted to leave a message to a friend. I feeling it was to personal decided lets exchange addys a talk on messenger. The man was sweet kind and never once asked me what I was wearing. What I wanted sexually or anything suggestive. So we talked and talked for months and months about mundane everyday things. While he was searching and I was searching and we would often come back from a meeting and instantly message the other with omg it was not what I expected. He never pushed he never acted like I was some sex crazed bimbo there for his entertainment. We connected on a more personal level. Then after about 6 months of chit chat and his offering to be my safe call on more than one occasion.  He said he found someone who he was interested in Domming and I had this sudden and gut wrenching feeling of jealousy and I didn't even know where it came from. Now me being the woman of action that I am. I told him. I totally threw myself at him in the most submissive and unapologetic way. You can't do this to someone else it has to be me. I need that from you. Now at the time my heart was racing and my thoughts were all over the place. What if I scared him off with my sudden and very intense show of need and emotion.

Happily that wasn't the case at all. We are now happily married actually.

This is how we got started Master slave and we struggled to be what other peoples idea of such was. Then it dawned on us later that dynamic didn't fit our personalities one bit. So we are now Daddy and baby girl. He is sweet caring and in every way a good Daddy. I toss tantrums and want to play like a little girl. Though this seems to be a big taboo. The fact that I call him Daddy doesn't mean he wants to do underaged girls anymore than I have ever had a sexual thought about my own father. This blog will be an exploration into how this dynamic works for the most part. I don't walk around stomping my feet and sucking my thumb. I am very much an adult. I just love the feeling of his caring and nurturing.

1 comment:

  1. This is a great intro post! Glad you found what you were looking for! I look forward to reading more from you in the future!

    *hugs* <3