Megan is Missing a review of sorts

Well we heard about this movie called "Megan is Missing". The premise is based on actual events. With some poetic licence and adding several cases together. So we saw somewhere someone we knew watched and it freaked them out. So we first went to see the synopsis online. The write up said its a horror movie with some open talk about blow jobs. That there was a rape scene you didn't see anything but her face and his hands. So they made it sound pretty tame honestly. 


The truth though. There were 2 girls. Megan you only know goes missing and not what really happened to her. There are 2 fetish photos that were allegedly found online that were quite disturbing when you consider the age of the girl. Then the second girl who is Megan's friend disappears and all of what happens to her was put on video using the cam she got for her Birthday. The rape scene though shows very little gets the point across in a disturbing way. The reason I guess it was so disturbing to me is one it wasn't some glitzy glam movie. It was more alas Blair Witch Project. 


What was also a little shocking was how openly sexual these 14 year old girls were. How the blow job described was actually in many ways non consensual. This movie made me want to cry. It was pretty horrific. The end was almost to much to take. If you come across this movie its not suitable for children in my opinion. This movie takes TTWD and perverts it and it really shook me up I guess. Which is why I am blogging about it.  

Be careful what you wish for.

So I walked around pouting in my last post. Then we talked and I felt better. That was that I figured. So the next morning. I get up business as usual. Still being complacent on the whole grounded thing. When surprise surprise he decided he didn't like complacent. He took the belt to my ass (the belt I thought was safely tucked away in our little hide a way). Then he informed me no blog til I changed my attitude. 


48 hours isn't bad lol. I am back to blogging. I am so playing catch up with what everyone wrote. I seriously missed it. Think I might be a blogging addict already. 

A Virtue...

Patience is a virtue. Sadly I am not all that patient. We did  talk and I do feel silly. Sometimes walking around trying to guess what the other person is thinking just doesn't work. You have to ask out right. Walking around in a pouty mode solves nothing. 

So after we talked I realized sometimes things just happen and plans change. I just sometimes wish I could be notified of said changes lol. We often joke we share the same brain. We often answer the same questions with the same answers at the very same time. We aren't always in sync though. So communication is still always key. I do feel better after talking and he said its never wrong to say what I am feeling. We both have a perspective. The key is to listen to the other as well.

While we were talking I also mentioned to Daddy I joined the Spanking Bloggers Network. He asked me " Does this mean there will be a line at the door waiting to spank you now?" My reply was "Oh the first one should be here Tuesday." lol. 

Pouty...

That's how I feel today. Just about ready to trip over my bottom lip. It's not a pretty sight at all. Things tend to get side tracked for real life. I am feeling like I am again asking to much of him while he has 100 things on his mind. 

Maybe that's my problem not his. Sometimes I hang off his every word. He will say something in passing that will quite honestly make me perk. Then I tend to think about it all day. Then my expectations get the better of me. When it doesn't happen I start to question everything. Well what did I do now to not get what you said you were going to do? I don't remind him cause that actually feels awkward. Did he just get caught up in other things and forget? Was he just kidding with me and I  put to much into it. I guess my biggest issue is honestly I don't deal with confusion. It also doesn't help that I don't often communicate my needs with any real clarity either. 

This is where I wind up lol. Pouting because I feel like I missed something somewhere. Something has escaped me. Oh well back to work I go pouting while I do. I am sure we will discuss it and I will wind up feeling silly. 

Bah Humbug

The Christmas season is upon us again. I loathe Christmas honestly. The whole meaning has been lost in my opinion. People flock to the malls spending what they cant afford. Trying to impress children who are only happy when things have a high price tag.

Where has the Christmas spirit gone. I have fond memories as a child of receiving hand made gifts. My grandmother was a master at all things crafty. We had gingerbread houses that belonged on a magazine cover. She always made me dill pickles. I always loved finding that little treat under my tree. She made our Christmas every year with all her warmth and her little extra touches. We didn't get high price tagged store bought items. 

I had a sock monkey as a kid. It was something my grandmother made for me. Imagine trying to pass this off to today's technology hungry children. "But mom what does it do?" would be what you would expect to hear now a days. No bells no whistles just cute and made with love.I loved my sock monkey. I loved my grandmother. She is missed always. Though at Christmas I miss her the most. 

The Belt...

What is it about the belt? It has been in many a masturbatory fantasy. Its not just the belt though really its the whole experience. Daddy taking off the belt off. That sound so enticing. Now it was as I said the fuel for many a fantasy. Long before I ever met Daddy. One often wonders if the fantasy will hold up real time. Well this particular not only lived up but exceeded expectations. 


The whole you have been a very bad girl and Daddy is going to punish you scenario. When Daddy gets out the belt. I am really in for it. I have actually orgasmed while he has taken the belt to me. Which was totally hot. Daddy's attitude is pretty simple I am going to take it and I am going to love every minute of it.


Though I have liked a lot of different kinds of spankings. The belt is always a favorite. I have a pretty tough little ass Daddy says. The belt has left some marks though. Which oddly I enjoy. The only down side to the belt is the noise factor. So its usually saved for when we are alone. Think it might be time to work on soundproofing a room lol. 

Learning something new...

Well even after all this time its still a learning experience. We have been exploring prostate massage. I was honestly having performance anxiety over the whole issue. Daddy does so much he knows pleases me and on this one I didn't want to let him down. After a failed attempt I really did beat myself up over it. 


So Daddy suggests its time to try again. I confess I panicked a little. No not at the actual act. It was more omg I am going to fail again. So I literally was walking around all day with sweaty palms. Making this into way more than it needs to be. What if I don't make him happy what if I fail again. I don't like to disappoint him. 


Then me being me I laid it all out for him my fears and anxiety. This didn't register the way I wanted at first he seemed upset. Then it was ok lets forget it. I said no you aren't hearing me here. I want to do this. I just need to be confident is all. I want to learn. I want to please. 


So later that night I crawled into bed with him and I looked at him and said the way only I can. I need to look at this differently. I said "You know how games have a tips and hints button." That is what I need. I need you to give me the step by step encouragement. The oh that's the spot or nope you need to do this. Walk me threw it. 


Honestly it worked out great. I simply said to him. This is about your baby girl playing with you. Having fun. There shouldn't be any pressure at all. So I don't know why I was putting so much pressure on myself. Elevating the pressure and looking at it from a whole new angle did the trick. He was pleased and I was also pleased.

Time to abdicate...

Big word abdicate lol. I am ready to toss away the tiara. Unless of course I can still be his little princess. I really don't want to thought of as the queen. All proper and stuck up. I want to be that fun loving little girl he enjoys. 


Well I have had a little time to think about this. I think I am ready to bare all. That was the whole point of this blog anyway. Stepping out of my comfort zone just a little. Saying the things I am thinking without embarrassment. I mean its just words right. Its not like they will bite me lol. Daddy does bite though there is this one spot on my neck if he gets it just right well holy orgasm lol.


So on the grounded front. I am becoming complacent. I have stopped asking for things. Mostly because I felt like a nuisance  (which oddly was my father's pet name for me as a child) always looking at  him with a question. Sometimes Daddy feels questioned to death as it is. He hasn't commented on this either. 


I want to be the good girl on this one. I really do. I just am not sure which is the right way to go. I am not going to stomp around going look at me. I don't want to put him on the defensive on this either. Which can happen when you are coming off as some super needy chick. Alas that is what I am really a needy chick. 


He does take care of me in small ways that makes me realize that even distracted he still thinks of me. Like having my breakfast in the oven this morning waiting for me. I also take care of him in small ways. I guess it cant be fireworks all the time. Lets face it fireworks are damn exciting.

Winter Weather has arrived...

I lost my internet and I was unable to work tries to work up a convincing pout. Daddy calls says I am stuck in a ditch. I said I am internetless. So its a toss up lol. 


Daddy finally made it home fixed my internet adds real pout here lol. The up side it can only go up from here today right. Movie night with the kids tonight. Then some alone time I hope. 

Spanking the Queen...

Where is my tiara? I seem to have lost it. Well that's how Daddy describes spanking me. Like I am this super classy proper chick who likes a good spanking. Most men want a lady they can take out who's a real slut in the bedroom. 


So we have been at this 9 years now and I still have this mental block. Its not that I think I am to good or proper to talk like a total slut. I just can't seem to ever get the words out. We aren't the type of couple who plays once in awhile either. I have a list of bondage furniture that would make most ladies envious. So why this mental block. I have seen in chat rooms where women openly talk about how much they love to suck cock. How they seem to only want to discuss their last sexual encounter in full detail. Why am I such a prude when it comes to talking about sex. Trust me we have had some pretty hard core sessions but my attitude afterwards is always shhhh! lets not talk about it lol. 


Now this little quirk,mental block or whatever you want to call it probably doesn't result from a repressed childhood. Sex was openly discussed sometimes inappropriately and at the most inappropriate times lol. Like at the dinner table. My mother wasn't shy on the subject at all. My father would have not been so open. 


Actually when I started this blog I wondered if I would again suffer this mental block. It appears to be the case. Why can't I be explicit? Would anyone read my drivel if I don't toss in the gory details? Should that even matter? 


Poor Daddy, who has given me more than one blog title, is probably afraid to say anything ever again lol. I often ask him how he puts up with me when I can be such an uptight prude. Why after all this time can't I go there. He has certainly done plenty of interesting things to me which I thoroughly enjoyed. I want to give him the whole package though. I want to be able to say what I am thinking. I surely have no problem letting him know what I am thinking on any other topic. 


Daddy says tomorrows topic is figging and fisting....So glad the man has a sense of humor otherwise he wouldn't be able to put up with me at all lol.

Cold Bubbly and a Toasty Tush

That's how we celebrated our anniversary. Hard to believe we have been together for 9 years. What isn't as hard to believe is how much I still love him. I am still always happy to see him walk in the door. 


These have been some interesting years. We have had our trials, our tribulations but through it all we hung tight together. The man did set the bar pretty high from the very beginning and after 9 years he can still surprise me. 


Sometimes I think being D/s has only made us stronger. The foundation of our relationship is always there. When outside pressures seep in and life gets in the way. There is a comfort there for me  knowing that at the end of the day, which I still say is my favorite part of the day, I will be cuddled in his arms safe and secure. We really do try not to let anything interfere with our time.


So for our anniversary even mother nature was cooperative. We got to sneak out to our little hide away as we have had some rather mild weather as of late. So as noise wasn't an issue which it sometimes is. We were able to really enjoy our time together. This man knows how to spank some ass. He knows exactly what gets me hot. He knows my combination so to speak lol. Two to the right one to the left and off I go lol. I love that he knows me so well. 

If brains were nickels...

These people would be broke. I work for and with the terminally stupid. I actually work in a unique environment. I guess you could say my job description is customer service, entertainment, and tech support. All from the comfort of my own home. Which sounds terrific til you have kids lol. Thankfully I am known as the multitasking queen. 

I often wonder how I managed to find myself trying to entertain people all day long. Amuse them I do. Usually I can see the same people my whole shift. They ask the same stupid questions over and over day after day. 

Today I just don't feel entertaining. I don't want to listen to them whine. I want to just close it all down and crawl back into bed. My sinuses are acting up and my eyes are all puffy which makes staring at a screen trying to think of something witty just beyond me today. 

Ok sorry for the whine fest guess these people are wearing on me lol. Come back tomorrow hopefully i will have something more positive to say. 

Anniversary

So we are laying in bed this morning and Daddy says "What would you like to do tomorrow?" I said what would you like to do tomorrow. He says well its 9 years since I collared you tomorrow. Now I knew that had even been thinking about it myself. I was just not caffeinated yet. 


That's why I love him I never have to remind him. He never forgets our anniversary. So after giving it some thought I finally told him what I would like to do for our anniversary. I am not nearly as sentimental as he is. Though he is rubbing off on me and the joke is because we do lots of rubbing lol.


So I asked Daddy if we could renew our contract sort of a renewal of our vows. When we started out we were Master slave and as our relationship has changed its time to reflect that. I also suggested we could have copious amounts of sex as well. 


Happy Anniversary Daddy! 

Return to Bitch Mountain...

That's what Daddy said to me. If I ever return to bitch mountain. He will gladly repeat the experience. What I think I need him to understand is I don't want to ever go there again. I had lost my way. I am not a SAM. Though he has said that to me before. What I am is someone who was seeking attention. I freely admit that. It felt like I was being buried under all kinds of outside pressures. He even more so. The problem sometimes is when I have all the outside pressures I want to escape. I want to stop thinking about all that and just be the little girl he wants me to be. 

We were both equally walking around grumbling how the other wasn't meeting our needs. Forgetting the fundamental reason why we got into it in the first place. It isn't just about me. It isn't just about him either. Its a symbiotic relationship with give and take. We had a bad case of the me's. 

So after he totally blew my mind. After he rocked my world it dawned on me. I had an epiphany. That was where I went wrong. I can't submit if I am stomping around worrying about where is mine. I said that to him too. I forgot what I got into this for. I got selfish. So I am changing my outlook. 

What I said to him was I promise to stop worrying about me and throw myself into taking care of you. While you throw yourself into taking care of me. We should both come out of this happy and fulfilled. 

I don't ever want to reach the summit of bitch mountain again. I need Daddy to stop me before I get half way. I need to know that he cares enough to keep me from reaching the top again. In return I will worship him. He has brought me back it was a gift really. I wont say thank you. I will show him instead. How much it meant to me.

For an Audience

Well blogging has brought about a lot of talking. How much do I want to share. How descriptive do I want to get. Does Daddy get a complex because his activities are put on display for everyone to read. 

This morning I was sucking on his cock. Me, being the smart ass that I am, stopped and asked him "So how do you feel about me blogging about sucking your cock?" He said he has no issues with what I write because I am tactful and its my blog. So when he finally came. he said "I feel like I just came for an audience." lol. 

Fortunately Daddy isn't shy like I am. If he were to start his own blog. I would probably blush a lot. He isn't afraid to share or speak frankly. Sometimes I still blush when he says something offhanded. He says its cute cause even my ears turn red. 

I also find my blogging has also given him more insight. He gets to read what I am thinking. Though for every blog entry he usually gets an email that has more intimate details or more insight. Communication is the key. What works what doesn't. We have been doing a lot of talking. Which we had stopped doing for awhile. Got comfortable in the same ole routines. Changing things up and bring back a little spontaneity is good.  

Drop Fall Crash Bang!

All of those happened. I just read my blog post from yesterday. I am surprised it made any sense at all. I was totally useless yesterday I am glad nobody asked me my name lol. 


Talk about reaching the sky and then plummeting back to earth with no parachute. That's how I feel today. Like coming back from a long trip. A very pleasant happy trip and back to reality. I wanted to stay there I didn't want to come back. I feel like I was drug back kicking and screaming. Then its trying to explain it. That's what Daddy wants feedback. 


Ok so feedback. My first reply to that was holy batman that was the most intense awesome your a total God experience. That's not even an exaggeration. The problem is I don't remember the details not now anyway snippets maybe but I was so far gone the world stopped. I am a woman I deal in feelings and it felt like an almost out of body experience. 


Daddy says he felt a drop too and a little out of sorts. I am far more interested myself in what he got out of it. I guess I didn't want to go to that place alone. He rocked my world. Shook the very foundation. All I need to know is that he got something out of it besides having to drag me kicking and screaming back to reality. 

The day after Tuesday lol

 Lets just say no blog entry yesterday I was all tied up. Well he said he was going to punish me. The man was true to his word. I am sure I got more than I deserved and exactly what I deserved. He actually surprised me. Which after all this time isn't the easiest to do lol. He did something he knows I don't like yesterday afternoon and I, much to my surprise, fully submitted. 


Then last night all bets were off. He has been tossing around the idea of ginger. We have discussed it and I always balked at the idea. Lets not go there. Well apparently last night he decided with my behavior last week it was time to go there. I never saw it coming. Which probably helped lol. The experience was very interesting to say the least. I begged. I pleaded. I cried. I had multiple orgasms. It was intense but not as intense as I expected. Probably due to the whole zone I was in. Daddy has kept me pretty pliable the last few days. 


So today I feel relaxed and in my happy place. Thank you Daddy for knowing that what I want sometimes isn't what I need. 

A funny thing happened.......

While I am grounded and asking for everything. I am not being censored here in my blog. Daddy says this is my outlet and he will not censor me in any way.

So being grounded has not made me a sullen cranky pouty brat. If anything I am thriving. He even has commented that with how I am reacting to this I might be grounded for life. Its the security of it the closeness of it. The fact he takes the time to notice. Lets face it that's all a girl really wants. Being able to be who you are. He is taking control which i need. He is also letting me know my efforts have not gone unnoticed but that doesn't mean I am in any way off the hook for my out of control behavior.



The part I regret most is how mean I was.Not trusting him to be there. When he has always been there. The part I grapple with most is the emotional aspects. Do what you will to my body but emotionally I hold back. I keep that little part of me to myself. Then when I finally get emotional its destructive. I spent my whole life keeping them bottled up. I learned to build a wall. You cant hurt me because I don't care. I also have a smart assed answer for everything. Another defence mechanism. Can I surrender? It's not that I don't want to but what if you take that leap of faith and find out the pool is empty. What if my need outweighs his desire for control? The better question is. Why can't I just go with it why must I always second guess, over analyze and talk myself out of the very thing  I desire most.

Grounded

Yes you read that right. Well I am officially grounded totally reigned in. Have to ask for everything. Even this blog post. How does one get grounded. I went off the deep end really. I got  drunk and let loose like an insane person. I ranted I raved. I was not only loud and obnoxious. I was down right cruel. Now this isn't my nature but you put me pissy and a bottle of booze together and that adds up to disaster on a huge scale. 


I took a simple little comment and turned it into an hour and half long tirade. He was tired and I took a personal affront to the way he presented it to me. Now I feel like shit because you cant take back all the mean things you say. I am totally embarrassed by my outburst. 


So what does Daddy do? Gives me more instead of less. He is taking total control for awhile. I will be required to ask for everything. He suggested this is going to be more than a few days. I deserve this and more for my actions. I know he will punish me as hard and as often as he desires. 


I being me want to thank him for this. I expected rejection which is how i got in this mess in the first place letting my insecurities  run a muck as well as my mouth. 


Any blog posts will be by permission only for awhile. 

Thank you Daddy

Thank you Daddy for all that you do and put up with. Thank you for all the little things you do that you think go unnoticed. 


Your baby girl.

Well it is Tuesday!

This is close to the set of cuffs Daddy got me. Mine aren't padded but they are sexy black and red cuffs and collar that he had custom ordered just for me. 


Today he tells me to go put them on. So I head upstairs and put them on and they feel great. He also has me place pillows in the middle of the bed to raise my ass up the way he likes. Then he has me lay face down and proceeds to restrain me to the bed. 


I love the feeling of being restrained. I also know that I am in for a good thrashing. Daddy is very serious about the rules. When he wants something he expects it done. Or as he likes to say its my ass. He starts with his hand warming me up. Then he gets the paddle and that makes me yelp and squirm. Then he reaches for the belt. The belt I have a love hate relationship with. The first swing lands hard and makes me shriek. Then he brings it down on my thighs and I know he means business. Once he is done and has released me. He says well lets go back down stairs. I smiled and said guess I should put some clothes on. His response was no don't I have 40 minutes of molest you time before I have to go out. 


I'm starting to like Tuesdays again.

Sincerely Yours

Daddy and I were talking and he said what he loves most about me is I am devoted. He said no matter what it is there is sincerity in everything that I do whether its a back rub or a blow job. Its obvious to him that I am not just trying to please him there is something I get out of doing it.  


Even when life gets crazy and nothing is going right. My first concern is always him. How he is coping and is there anything I can do to elevate some of the pressure. We are like any other couple there are waves. The whole relationship ebbs and flows. Sometimes its not rosy. Even in the rough times when we aren't pleased with things there is still an underline of mutual respect and caring. 


What Daddy doesn't realize sometimes is that its easy to be sincere. With all he gives me in return, that it all balances out. Submission isn't something I do for him alone. There is a need in me that he brings out. 

Tie me up Tuesday is this becoming a theme?

So its Friday. I know you all are looking and going put down the drugs woman its Monday lol. We call this our weekend as i work all weekend. The kids are home and you know what that means. Nothing fun is going to happen lol. Sometimes you need to make a little noise right. 

We actually have a little hide away we sneak off to when kids are home and we need a little us time. The problem now is its getting to cold to sneak out and enjoy each others company. Pouts a little at the thought of bringing all our play things back into the house for the long cold winter. Now Daddy, if sets his mind to it, will come up with an alternative. Waits with bated breath, because I need this time alone with Daddy. Bring on tie me up Tuesday its been a long ass week. 

Sexy and a Sandwich too.

I am comfortable with who I am and how I look. So I don't look like a super model but then again I am not afraid to eat a sandwich either. What I realized is super models are called that because well lets be honest they are not the norm. They are what 1% of the population and everyone strives to be like them. 


Daddy says I have a bad self image and I disagree. I just have a self deprecating sense of humor is all. I can laugh at myself. Before I met Daddy i confess I was totally self conscious. My ex never saw me naked and all sex was after dark with the lights off. The 2 times Daddy and I had sex in the dark was due to power outages lol. I have no problem strolling around naked now. This is more because Daddy makes me feel sexy. 


I do grumble sometimes about my hair or having hips like a hippo. Everyone has bad hair days. I think I am having a bad hair year lol. I don't walk around counting calories. I could diet for years and not get any taller. I was not built like a super model and I don't look at them with envy. I am comfortable in my own skin. Far more than I used to be.  

My Addiction

I have one addiction. One thing that I must have.It's coffee. I don't want it foaming. I don't want it flavored either. If I want pumpkin pie I will order it on the side not drink it. I am a coffeeaholic for sure. Two pots every day and on the really rough long days it can even be three. Daddy is a coffee drinker too but it keeps him up if he drinks it to late. He often jokes when he is headed to the coffee pot at 8pm that he will be up all night and expects to be kept entertained. I on the other hand could drink a cup in bed at night and still sleep soundly.


Daddy has threatened to cut my coffee drinking down. He even has gone so far as to use it to get what he wants from me. When he says do it or no coffee for a whole day. I say ok you wouldn't do that to me you love me. Try me he says. That's all I need to hear because I instantly give in. Don't take away my coffee. 

Love my Daddy!

So today started out a disaster and when he went storming out the door irritated I wanted to cry. Sitting here for hours torturing myself feeling like crap. I often can't fight the urge to beat myself up over such things. Knowing I had hours to do it didn't help much and having to work. 


Then in he walks. " Uhm what are you doing home?" where the first words out of my mouth. Quickly followed by "Not that I'm not happy to see you just surprised." 


This is why I adore him because its things like this that make me realize how much he loves me. It wasn't the spanking that did me in it was that he cared enough. He knows me well. He knew I would beat myself up all day over it sitting here alone. He loved me enough to come back and make it all better when lets face it it was all me to begin with. 

Mornings..

I got snarky this morning. Down right mouthy and well poor Daddy isn't a morning person to begin with. Mornings are hectic here and he juggles 3 things all while trying to wake up. So he leaves the house irritated with me. Which throws off my whole day. His day as well.

You would think after all these years I would learn to leave him alone in the morning. This is his biggest pet peeve and its something I am really working on. This morning however him telling me to just go back to bed hurt my feelings. Then I am off like a rocket which admittedly makes things worse.  Sometimes I just get my hackles up. He loves me and when he says go back to bed its not intended to hurt my feelings. He just needs to get himself together. 

So Daddy when you read this just know I am sorry.


P.S. The minute I hit send on this blog entry. Daddy comes strolling in the door quite unexpectedly. Tells me to get my ass upstairs and I am over his knee. Thank you Daddy I needed that.

We aren't making a movie...

Okay so no its not a movie and there is no script. They do call it a scene for a reason. The mood the overall feel of it has to be there. There is a part of me that craves that whole interaction. Daddy punishing his little girl with all the strong words and feelings that would come from it. There is a real power exchange there and sometimes you need to be able to just let go.

The desire to beg, plead and mean every word of it. That is something I think can only be accomplished for me personally when Daddy is not trying to please me as much as he is doing it for himself. There is a moment where you know a tangible moment when you feel it. He is totally in his own zone. Where what he says resonates because its not an act or a script its real and genuine. That is when I can let go myself. 

That's my biggest struggle letting go and just being me and trusting that he loves me not in spite of my little quirks and kinks but because of them.

Moody and Cranky

Today I am just in a mood and cranky. You know the kind of day where every little thing makes you snarl and growl. I didn't want to work but I muddled thru got it done and feel no sense of accomplishment whatsoever. Was not in the mood to entertain or suffer thru small talk. Most of the time I have plenty to say I can yammer on and keep them entertained for hours. This trait isn't one of Daddy's fav's he prefers quiet. This is something I have to work at most days trying not to talk his ear off about things that are really not very important at all. 

Though lately its been less about work and more about oh look at this blog entry or hey read this one its an interesting read. He has been very supportive of  my new blogging adventure because its opening the lines of communication where things had gone quiet for awhile. I am encouraged to show him things that interest me. 

Today I am restless and nothing is holding my attention. Tonight when we finally get some alone time maybe focusing on him fully and completely will change my mood. 

Tie me up Tuesday

So it's Tuesday my one day off all week. Yes you can be a sex kitten and be employed full time. I work from home and while I am supposed to be working I find myself surfing the net reading blogs and  pretty much goofing off if I am not terribly busy. The perk  working from home is the boss isn't going to walk in on you while you are perving some naughty blog or trying to find just the right pic to post. 

Tuesday's are just for me though. No work allowed when you get one day off the last thing you want to do is check your email and find out someone needs help. When things weren't so hectic Tuesday could have been called Tie me up Tuesday. As Daddy has arranged to be free on Tuesday. We are slowly getting back into our routine and hopefully our Tuesday rituals will pick up again. 

Bondage is delicious nothing feels better than struggling a little and realizing you are indeed securely bound and totally at his mercy. This honestly scared me in the beginning. The whole idea that once you are bound you are putting your trust in someone saying hurt me but not to much. Slow and steady was Daddy's motto though. The first few times we did any kind of bondage he made it so I could self release if i panicked. The trust building exercise was very successful if I do say so myself because now I look forward to these times with excitement. 

A handful of hair

What is it about hair pulling that gets me so damn hot? Daddy knows exactly what gets me all worked up. He reads me like nobody ever has.  He often says he plays me like an instrument and loves the sounds I make while he expertly works me over.

Last night it started with a spanking with his favorite paddle. After a good dozen or so he moves to the belt which is my favorite. Then his hands are on me working my clit and fingering me roughly making me cum hard. He rubs his beautiful cock against my now eager slit and enters me roughly making me gasp. He fucks me hard making me fuck him back meeting his thrusts with my own. I love when he makes me work myself back on him like that and I am totally into it. Then it happens totally unexpected he grabs a handful of my hair raises his voice and I am gone.

Totally lost in the moment there is nobody in the world at that moment but him and me. I can't even remember exactly what he said to me all I know is right there and then in that moment I was totally his the orgasm I had while he had a handful of my hair was one of the most intense I have ever experienced in my life.

Thanks for sharing...

I am new to the blog scene and starting my own little blogging adventure. So I decided to look at other blogs and see what other people are sharing. I am amazed at all the insight I have gotten so far in only a few short days. Thank you all you fellow pervy bloggers who let us peek into your world. 

This new insight has prompted a new discussion with Daddy. How much do I want to share of myself to others who so freely share of themselves. Daddy says be yourself and don't go out of your comfort zone. My reply is what if I want to get out of my comfort zone a little with this new project. What if that is what drew me to blog in the first place. I am often teased for being a prude for not being able to express my needs in a concise way. For not being able to just come out and say it. I hint and nudge and beat around the bush and am surprisingly shy about expressing my own needs. Then as I started to look at others and how open they were not only about their sexuality but about how they feel about themselves their lives and not always about submission made me realize that my holding back is not helping. 

So thank  you fellow bloggers you are not blogging in vain someone somewhere might find comfort and insight in your shared thoughts. I know I will continue to read and learn. 

Daddy knows...

Daddy knows exactly how to make his little girl purr like a kitten and he enjoys it. Daddy always picks out which panties I am going to wear with the intention of pulling them down at days end. All day yesterday he whispered naughty things in my ear that made me purr. How once everything got settled and we were finally alone these panties were coming down. He teases me the anticipation building  all day long. Saying how sexy his ass is and how tonight he is going to have it.


So finally the kids are settled the dogs have been put out and everything is done and the day is finally over. It has always been my favorite part of the day because I finally get my Daddy and all to myself. I love to watch him undress and I myself strip down to only panties because that is one of Daddy's little pleasures removing them himself (he also buys them for me we joke he buys all my panties from the take them down rack). We crawl into bed and I am all giggly and we cuddle and just chat about the day. We always spend time talking about the days events even when things didn't appear very eventful.


Then after all the small talk he says the words that I wanted to hear all day. Get your bottom up for me and let me see what's mine. I giggle and eagerly get up on all fours I have been a good girl all day and Daddy is pleased with me so this is all about fun tonight.

Daddy gives a spanking...

I found this site that creates a spanking for you. Fill in the quick questions and instant spanking. I found it on another blog. The blog to create your very own spanking can be found here. The story created by Daddy just for me is posted below.

babygirl Gets Herself a Spanking

babygirl was in trouble and she knew it. She wondered if Daddy would spank her right away or make her wait. ''Waiting is the worst!'' she thought, though in this case maybe it would be better to put it off... She didn't need to speculate, though, she'd know soon enough - she could hear a man's footsteps approaching the door. As she watched, the handle turned with what seemed like an unnatural slowness. An icy hand gripped her right in the middle of her bottom.
''Act natural,'' she told herself, which only caused her to give a nervous giggle just as her Daddy walked in.
''What's wrong?'' Daddy asked immediately.
''Me? Nothing! Why do you ask?''
''Just that you have a strange look on your face.'' So much for ''natural,'' babygirl thought. Daddy continued. ''Okay, what have you done?''
''Um... nothing?''
''babygirl...''
''Yes, Daddy?''
''Come on, out with it. Now.'' He had never been all that patient in these situations and was already heading toward bedroom. babygirl hurried to head him off.
''It's nothing, honest. It's just that... Well, I...'' Try as she might, she couldn't think of a way to make it sound any better.
''spoke disrespectfully,'' she said with a rush. Daddy stopped in his tracks, slowly turning to look at her.
''sexy girl! It's nothing, honest?'' he mocked in a voice of disbelief. ''It doesn't sound like nothing. It sounds a lot like sassy mouth.'' babygirl felt herself tighten at that word - it had unfortunate connotations - unfortunate for her and unfortunate for her bottom. ''We've talked about sassy mouth, haven't we?'' Daddy's speech went on. ''We have a way of dealing with sassy mouth, don't we, you little snot?'' Every time he used the term ''sassy mouth'' he might as well be saying ''spanking,'' she thought. ''sexy girl, you do know how we deal with sassy mouth, don't you?'' Instinctively babygirl's hands shot back to cover her bottom, in a way answering Daddy's question very clearly. Though that's not the answer her voice gave.
''Well, I know... but... I thought... maybe this time...
''You thought maybe this time what, you little snot? That you wouldn't be spanked? That sassy mouth wouldn't get you a good bare-bottomed spanking?''
babygirl didn't want a spanking - Daddy's spankings hurt! While she was getting them they stung like mad - she was always convinced she just had to get away and never could - and they left her so sore! Not just sore, very sore - sore like when you sit down a long time later you can still feel it like you just got it, that kind of sore. And she certainly didn't want one of those - especially not on her bare bottom!
And that was exactly how her Daddy was going to spank her - over his knee, her head down, cute little shorts and t shirt off, bottom up, panties down, bottom bare, her creamy skin inviting his stern reproval! Daddy had never once let her keep her panties up. Quickly babygirl's mind raced to remember what panties she'd put on, thankful that her blue ones wouldn't add any to her embarrassment - having her bottom bared was embarrassing enough as it was!
Part of her wanted to run and hide, but most of her simply followed Daddy into bedroom - bedroom, where she was always taken to be spanked. Much as she hated getting a spanking, especially one of Daddy's spankings, she really did dislike sassy mouth and really wished she could stop doing it. If having her Daddy spank her would stop her from sassy mouth, maybe that was a good thing - if only it didn't have to be such a spanking!
Once in bedroom, Daddy looked at her sternly as he sat on the bed, extending his legs as her soon-to-be ''resting'' place. My God, already? babygirl thought to herself, but Daddy, instead of immediately motioning her over his lap and into place, clasped a hand on each of her arms.
''Now sweet, I want to be fair about this, you know that, I hope. You should also know that I'm disappointed to hear about your sassy mouth.'' babygirl's spirits sunk even lower, though for a new reason now. She didn't like to disappoint Daddy. ''Very,'' he added. Maybe she really did deserve a spanking. ''I want you to tell me how this happened,'' he concluded. She tried to bow her head but with a gentle touch he raised her chin and made her look him in the eye.
''I don't know...'' was all she could think of to tell him. It would take too long to explain and not do any good anyway - but he wasn't about to settle for that.
''This sassy mouth of yours, it must have had some reason. It didn't just happen, now did it? And I want you to tell me how or why it did.'' His face hardened even further. ''And you are going to tell me.''
''It's like this - she is a naughty girl.''
''I see. babygirl?''
''Yes, Daddy?''
''Did I just hear anything that would keep me from giving you a spanking? Anything that would discourage me from giving you each and every swat of the spanking you've earned?''
''I don't know... maybe...'' she replied sullenly.
''sexy girl.''
''No. I guess not...''
''No. Nothing I heard dissuades me in the least. You, you little snot, have behaved yourself into a panties-down spanking and now you are going to get it.''
Fighting off thoughts of how soon Daddy would have her creamy bare and blushing, babygirl moved hesitantly to her Daddy's side and was a little surprised when he didn't immediately pull her over his waiting lap. Glancing up at his stern face, her surprise turned to dismay and she felt her stomach tighten.
''Oh no,'' she said softly, hopelessly.
''Oh yes,'' came his reply. ''You know better.''
''No, really - please? I don't need that... do I?'' This last was no more than a whisper.
''You need to learn, and the the belt helps you learn. Don't make me waste my time - spanking you by hand has never changed a thing.
''Go,'' Daddy demanded and commanded.
Reluctantly - very reluctantly - babygirl trudged off to get the the belt. Retrieving it from the dresser+, she took just a tiny moment to feel both its unfeeling undefined and her own twinge of rebelliousness - ooo, to throw it, hide it, destroy it! Now that would be satisfying! Instead, the the belt would have its satisfaction on her, heating, punishing, scalding her poor helpless bottom. And if she ever did manage to do away with it, babygirl had no doubt that Daddy would produce something even worse to deal with her current infraction and that additional one as well!
Shaking herself free of such imaginings, babygirl and her thoughts returned to bedroom and her Daddy's side, meekly proffering the demanded and dreaded the belt, knowing full well that in mere moments it would be blistering her bottom, and thoroughly. Her poor little bottom! What did it ever do? It wasn't the one that had a problem with sassy mouth, she was. Why should it have to suffer? It just wasn't fair!
Oblivious to these objections, Daddy still sat like a deity on the bed, waiting to tumble her over his unforgiving thighs. As he reached to take the the belt from her, she pulled it back slightly.
''You'll start slowly, won't you?'' She knew she wasn't supposed to ask and he always replied with ''Is that what you deserve, you little snot?'' But this once Daddy just took the the belt from her and nodded sympathetically.
Seeing his reaction babygirl realized that she must be in even more trouble than she imagined. Her whole body stiffened and shook and she couldn't keep herself from turning and trying to run away - but Daddy was too quick for her, he'd grabbed her wrist even as the the belt left her hand. Before she knew it she was over his knee and the blood was rushing to her head.
Spank! He began immediately - spank spank spank spank spank!
''Ow! Oh! Wait!'' No matter how much time Daddy would take leading up to it, the first swat always startled her. Alternating stiffening and squirming, she quickly sunk into place as her Daddy jostled her for a better and steadier grip.
Spank spank spank - spank spank spank spank! spank! spank! spank! spank!
''Ow! No! Too hard!'' babygirl protested, though really her cute little shorts and t shirt muffled the effect considerably - nearly all of this pain was caused by her own tension and apprehension. So far!
Spank spank spank spank! spank! spank!
''Ow ow ow!'' she continued, only to have Daddy chastise her further.
''Settle down, you little snot - we haven't even started. I''m just getting you settled in. You can't even feel anything through your cute little shorts and t shirt.''
Spank spank spank! spank spank! spank spank!
''No, no! I feel it! I do! don't!'' babygirl insisted somewhat nonsensically - the chance that he would stop already was non-existent.
''Shall I stop already? I thought I was doing this for you - you do know what's next, don't you?''
Ah - here was the dilemma upon whose horns babygirl lay. To be spanked over her cute little shorts and t shirt, and therefore longer - or to shorten it a little and jump right to ''pants-down''? Or even panties-down? She made the same coward's choice she always had before.
Spank spank spank spank - spank spank spank! spank spank!
''No, no - that's okay,'' she decided immediately, and having done so found that this phase was much more tolerable. Maybe by the time he gets to my bare bottom I'll be ready, babygirl thought. Right. And maybe his arm will wear out first - or I'll just fly to the moon!
Spank spank spank - spank spank spank spank! spank! spank! spank! spank!
''Owww. Owwwwww,'' babygirl moaned softly, concluding that some sort of reaction was still in her favor. ''Hey! Wait!'' For no sooner had she resigned herself to an over-the-cute little shorts and t shirt spanking than the cute little shorts and t shirt-spanking was over! ''Stop! Not yet!''
''Oh?'' Spank spank spank spank!!! ''Haven't had enough yet? I thought you were in a hurry!'' Spank spank spank spank!!! babygirl's Daddy saw to it that these final swats before her cute little shorts and t shirt deserted her made all the more of an impression.
''OW! Geez!'' She twisted around in an attempt to see if he was still using his hand - it seemed harder than ever! All she managed to see was Daddy removing her first line of defense. He slid the blue fabric off her bottom, revealing her blue panties.
Spank spank spank spank!!! Haaaaah, babygirl thought.
''Haaaaaaah!'' babygirl said. She had thought of her cute little shorts and t shirt as sort of insubstantial it but had been giving her more protection than she realized - now with nothing between his hand and her thin panties his every spank stung and stung to high heaven! Spank spank! spank spank! spank spank spank! spank spank spank!
''Owwwwooooooo? Oww? Ow, ow?'' In her mind babygirl questioned if Daddy really needed to spank her quite this completely.
Picking up on this, her Daddy didn't hesitate. ''If you didn't want this spanking, you little snot, you shouldn't have been sassy mouth,'' he decreed, his logic unassailable. Like she hadn't thought of that! ''You know what sassy mouth gets you - maybe next time you'll have an easier time deciding what you really want!''
''Grrrr,'' babygirl grrrr'd - quietly.
Spank spank spank spank spank spank spank! spank spank spank spank spank spank spank!
''Ow oh ow oh ow ow ow!''
From long experience Daddy knew just what he was doing. Half or more of his spanks landed where her panties had ridden up due to her unflattering position. Not only did they sting all the worse, they were those same low spots babygirl already knew she'd feel long afterward. How was she ever supposed to sit again?
Spank Ow Spank Ow Spank Ow Spank! On they went, like partners volleying on a tennis court - except that her soft bottom was no match for her Daddy's hard hand, and in this match she was being soundly beaten! And the sounds of that beating were Spank Ow Spank Ow Spank Ow Spank!
''Oh oh please,'' she protested - a lot of these spanks should count as panties-down! Not that they would, and not that she thought otherwise for even a moment. Nonetheless babygirl felt that some sort of protest was called for. Spank spank spank - spank spank spank spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! Ooooo, Daddy knew just how to make her feel those! And babygirl's poor little bottom did - each and every one!
Then quickly a lot more protest was very much called for!
''Oh no - really - no, please, no. Please?'' Her Daddy had stopped spanking long enough to pluck at the waistband of her panties - and she did not want them down! She grabbed them herself and held on tightly. ''Not those - they don't make a difference anyway,'' she claimed, fibbing slightly - though she was always surprised what a difference they did make. One by one, Daddy peeled her fingers from her blue panties. And then they were gone.
Spank! spank! Her creamy cheeks, only slightly colored by his gradual chastisement, were now fully under his hand - and eyes. Hold still! she told herself, wanting to minimize any jiggling or inappropriate exposure - try to hold still!
Spank! spank! Spank Spank! SPANK SPANK!
Maybe kicking and squirming was a better approach after all!
Spank! spank! Spank Spank! SPANK SPANK!
Suddenly he was in a hurry, a man with a mission. Now that he had her bare bottom in sight and squarely in his sights, he wanted it sore and stinging - both, a lot, and right now!
Spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank!
Spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank!
Spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank!
Couldn't Daddy hear her at all? Nothing seemed to slow him down! Just as she thought her poor little bottom would burst into flames, her Daddy's grip tightened! Her stomach followed suit as babygirl recognized the meaning of this gesture!
''Oh no! No! No! OW! OH!'' His spanks rained down so much harder without slowing down at all. Her kicking and struggles became furious, but the harder she fought, the harder he spanked!
Spank! Spank!
SPANK! SPANK!
Spank! Spank!
SPANK! SPANK!
''OW OH OH OH OW OH OH!'' she cried. When, oh when, would this be over? And then, with frightening abruptness, it was!
''Now, you little snot, it's time we took care of this sassy mouth,'' Daddy pronounced.
Oh no! The the belt - smack smack smack smack smack smack smack! By the time she realized what was about to happen her the belt spanking was already well underway! Instantly the warmth of his hand was replaced by the sting of the the belt's leather. Oooo, did that hurt! babygirl could never remember quite how much until she was feeling it - but as soon as she felt it she could remember - remember all too well!
smack smack smack smack smack smack smack!
''No, no - stop! Enough! I'll be good! I promise! Oh owwwwww...''
''sexy girl! Your sassy mouth? This is most certainly NOT enough, except that it's enough out of you. Now hold still. You know you've earned this - and more. If you're good you'll get a lot less of the ''more.''''
smack smack smack smack smack smack smack!
Try as he might to be ''fair,'' when it came to sassy mouth her Daddy was strict. That the belt HURT!
smack smack smack smack smack smack smack!
''No, no, not more - please, not more. Ow oh ow oh ow...''
smack smack smack smack smack smack smack!
''No - no please! I'll be good! I've learned my lesson - I have!'' As well she may have - her usually creamy cheeks shone from the the belt's harsh leather.
''Then hold still, sweet, so I can finish.'' And finish he did. With a flurry of smack-smack-smack's he made sure she'd have no place to sit, not for a good long time. Then the hardest yet, right in the center - smack smack smack smack smack smack! Even as babygirl recognized these as his final spanks she could take no relief as the barrage drove her past all limits of ''taking it.''
''Whaaa - aaa - ow - oooo - ooo - ooo - ooo - NO!''
''Okay, babygirl. Okay, sweet. Breathe. Now breathe...'' Daddy encouraged. As slowly as it had begun it just as suddenly ended. Slowly babygirl calmed down and her breathing did steady a bit.
''Now, young lady - no more sassy mouth - understood?'' Somehow babygirl nodded her acquiescence. And as she returned the the belt to the dresser+, she never wanted to have anything to do with sassy mouth, the the belt, or even her Daddy sitting on the bed - ever, ever again!

Remembering

Remembering the ones who gave their lives for freedom. The ones maimed and emotionally scarred fighting not for themselves but for a greater good. One of the things they fought so valiantly for is our right to free speech. But with freedom comes responsibility. So as we blog today let us also remember.

Sometimes a girl just needs a spanking

Sometimes a girl just needs a spanking. A erotic loving spanking that is foreplay. It starts with your Daddy pulling down your panties and rubbing your bare bottom caressing it lovingly enjoying the experience himself. As Daddy is my husband sex is very much a part of our play. Spankings are more than just a few smacks on the backside for me its about the whole mood set. The tone of his voice stern and confident makes me react emotionally as well as the physical reaction. I get aroused more by the intimacy of it and the conflicting emotions involved. Though the mouth is saying please don't Daddy, the body betrays the real desire for more. 

Runners do is too but they dont get looked at funny at all

First lets start with the definition of endorphins.




Endorphins Pain-killing substances produced in the human body and released by stress or trauma.




This is why runners run til their feet bleed and they literally fall over puking. They are getting off on the endorphins. They however never get strange looks while their feet are being bandaged and first aid is administered. I personally don't run unless someone is chasing me. If he is good looking I don't run fast at all lol.




This endorphin release has a different name in the lifestyle community. Its called subspace. This is where you are very much in your happy place and quite pliable. This is usually the goal of submissives when they are engaging in any type of bondage or spanking. I have enjoyed this particular endorphin release myself on many occasions. It can make you feel light and heady and its quite enjoyable.




Now if it sounds like i am trying to justify what I do in the privacy of my own home that is far from the case. I just think a little knowledge can do a person good before they judge what some people do. I never judge anyone for sitting in front of their tv chugging down beer after beer watching Nascar. This is their choice.




The whole idea that some people's idea of what normal is suits everyone is where most people go wrong. People are different for a reason. It's what makes people interesting. The whole notion that anyone who participates in such things must have been abused as children is simply myth. My parents never spanked I also never spank my own children. As I believe you can not teach with violence.




 SSC: Safe Sane Consensual. This is the lifestyle code. You are a consenting adult. You never do any long term physical damage and you are also aware of emotional damage as well. So as many vanilla people shrug and go I just don't get why you would even want to do it. I don't understand why people feel the need to acquire things. Do you need a tv in every room of  your home? No not really.




So if you are not into the lifestyle and you stumble across this blog one would hope you walk away with a little knowledge. Alternative does not always mean freak. I tend to use that word a lot. If vanilla people especially women knew the bond that is formed and the caring involved they would be tripping over themselves to sign up in my honest opinion.




P.S. If you are a bible thumping religious nut and are aghast at what you are reading just remember the bible says you should be submissive to your husband. Enough said lol. I just have fun while I do it lmao.

Getting my feet wet........

This blog is my way of expressing those needs and desires that some have and many don't act upon. Well after doing the vanilla thing for a long time. My desires were always there but they were never acted upon. The fantasies that made my heart pound and my body respond in exciting ways.


Does one act on these secret desires or keep them bottled up forever..... I decided I am a woman of action thinking is not enough so i got brave and after 6 years of marriage I acted. I got my now ex husband drunk and then asked him to spank me. Lets just say epic fail lol. This ended his even drinking with me lol. He then suggested that I should seek what I desire online. So i took him up on his offer and I divorced him it was a sham of a marriage anyway and neither of us were ever happy. So the split was the best for both of us.


Once I found myself on my own newly single and ready to stop being something i wasn't. I again got brave and ventured into the delightful world of online bdsm chat rooms. There are many and they all are pretty much the same kneel now bitch lol. I wasn't ready for that and as I said I am a woman of action so I found a bdsm dating site. The awkwardness of it was alarming at first. The whole lets get the list of sexual positions and activities out of the way before your first date seemed to personal for me. The whole insert tab A into slot B was all to overwhelming. I was looking for the emotional connection I craved not to give some guy a blow job on the first date.


Then it happened quite by accident. I met someone who listened we actually started talking because there I was in a bdsm chat room and someone wanted to leave a message to a friend. I feeling it was to personal decided lets exchange addys a talk on messenger. The man was sweet kind and never once asked me what I was wearing. What I wanted sexually or anything suggestive. So we talked and talked for months and months about mundane everyday things. While he was searching and I was searching and we would often come back from a meeting and instantly message the other with omg it was not what I expected. He never pushed he never acted like I was some sex crazed bimbo there for his entertainment. We connected on a more personal level. Then after about 6 months of chit chat and his offering to be my safe call on more than one occasion.  He said he found someone who he was interested in Domming and I had this sudden and gut wrenching feeling of jealousy and I didn't even know where it came from. Now me being the woman of action that I am. I told him. I totally threw myself at him in the most submissive and unapologetic way. You can't do this to someone else it has to be me. I need that from you. Now at the time my heart was racing and my thoughts were all over the place. What if I scared him off with my sudden and very intense show of need and emotion.


Happily that wasn't the case at all. We are now happily married actually.



This is how we got started Master slave and we struggled to be what other peoples idea of such was. Then it dawned on us later that dynamic didn't fit our personalities one bit. So we are now Daddy and baby girl. He is sweet caring and in every way a good Daddy. I toss tantrums and want to play like a little girl. Though this seems to be a big taboo. The fact that I call him Daddy doesn't mean he wants to do underaged girls anymore than I have ever had a sexual thought about my own father. This blog will be an exploration into how this dynamic works for the most part. I don't walk around stomping my feet and sucking my thumb. I am very much an adult. I just love the feeling of his caring and nurturing.